Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
