I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
