This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
