We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
