my mouth tastes like poor choices
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I want to make a zoo with you.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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