I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
