The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
