no. you can't hotbox the world.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
