What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
oh god was she eating orange peels again
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
