I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
