there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Randomize
