I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Randomize
