So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
