I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
