you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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