fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
