capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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