he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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