Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
