Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
