He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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