'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
