i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
