Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize