areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
