Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
