Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
