just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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