All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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