There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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