Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
it's great music for shaving your balls
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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