Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
