Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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