Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
