Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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