if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
