It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
