Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Even my vagina gasped.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
