bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I fill condoms, not promises.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
