Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
