In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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