its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
