There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
