At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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