he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
