on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize