is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Randomize
