I skipped work to stalk him.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize