shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
time to smoke my breakfast
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
