so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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