Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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