party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
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