im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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