I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Randomize
