ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I will be naked everywhere
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
