Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
