i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
