i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
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