Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize