I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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