perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
