everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize