Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
