I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
