ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
