theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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