It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
