her vagine was all disorganized.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
