Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
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