who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Semen is not good for contacts.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
