So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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