i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
